Dec 24, 2018
Twas the night before
And through the White
Not a creature was stirring, nor
Mrs. Trump’s blouse
The Democrats were filling their
diapers with care
In hopes that St. Bernie would
bring free healthcare
Illegals were nestled all snug in
While liberals did interviews
with Barack and Michelle
And Mel in her separate bedroom,
and I without pant,
Had just squatted down for a long
Then out on the lawn there arose
such a clatter
That I sprung from the toilet to
see what was the matter
Away to the window I flew like a
(I assumed it was Junior, needing
The moon on the breast of my hot
wife fell so
That I muttered aloud- “She’s a
10, you know”
Then what to my wondering eyes
But an FBI van, driving up in low
With a little old driver, so
sneaky and quick
That I knew in a moment, it’s a
More rapid than eagles my enemies
And I whistled, and shouted, and
cursed them by name
“Damn Maddow and Tapper, and
Lemon- Fake News!
Damn Woodward and Acosta- they’re
It was fun while it lasted, we
won’t build the wall...
I prepared to surrender as the
First Lady bawled.
The dry heaves, they started as I
heard Mel cry-
“Turns out Michael Cohen was a
really bad guy!”
Then, in a twinkling, I heard on
An FBI swat team, bedecked
As I peed in my pants and was
Down the chimney Bob Mueller
came, with a bound!
He was dressed in a tie, and a
A lame public servant, short on
A bundle of subpoenas, he had
flung on his back
And he looked very angry, just
like a Democrat!
His eyes- how they twinkled! His
dimples- how scary!
His glare was like iron, his
nose, big and hairy!
His droll little mouth was drawn
up like a bow,
And his prominent jawline said
business, you know.
The tip of a pen he held tight in
Then: “Sir I have papers,” he
said, look beneath”.
Then a wink of his eye and a
twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had
nothing to dread.
The file said Top Secret,
Classified, Eyes Only;
I opened it up and said, “Holy
The victims were children, and
“The Storm is in place, Mr. Prez
he said, “We’ll..
Arrest Hillary tonight- just
And I laughed as I signed it, in
spite of myself.
He spoke not a word, kept straight
to his work,
And owned all the libs, while I
watched with a smirk
Then he made the OK sign, by the
side of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney
He sprang to his van, to his team
gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the
down on a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he
drove out of sight
“Happy QAnon to all, and to all a